Devices of Illusion

"Indigenous like corn, like corn, the mestiza is a product of crossbreeding, designed for preservation under a variety of conditions. Like an ear of corn - a female seed-bearing organ - the mestiza is tenacious, tightly wrapped in the husks of her culture. Like kernels she clings to the cob; with thick stalks and strong brace roots, she holds tight to the earth - she will survive the crossroads."

- Gloria Anzaldua

nights spent dreaming

3 nights in the studio, 1 night in the Jeep, 1 night in a motel room

I promised the cat I'd sleep at home this week.

But now this place is carrying ghosts.

And I'm reminiscing on Highly Refined Pirates, This is Evidence, The Photo Album.

So much more. What would I think of myself now ten years ago?

Back in Action

Step 1: Load up your Jeep with cameras, film, tent and sleeping bag and drive into the desert.

Step 2: Talk to whomever talks to you, take their portraits. Answer their questions, smile, let them buy you a drink.

Step 3: Watch the bar fight, but don't get involved.

Step 4: Drink coffee.

Step 5: Opt for a motel room instead of the tent if it's below freezing. Sleep.

Step 6: Drink more coffee.

Step 7: Sit in the hot tub early in the morning and contemplate the desert and the coming rain.

Step 8: Back up the mountain, back to burned out trees. Always carry a towel to cover the cameras from the rain.

Step 9: Explore: abandoned houses, corrals, dirt roads, turbines.

Step 10: Drive West.

Pappy and Harriet's

teaching makes magic

Still from the hand processed roll of film we shot in the 16mm class I taught at Echo Park Film Center last week.

Camera Obscura

My first grad school photo

Made from three filtered black and white negatives to create a full color image.

and on the passing of another friend...

and oh,

how we could've been great friends as adults.

but i just know that we picked on each other as kids

seventh grade pranks in uniform

tenth grade flirts

then loosing touch.

is this the fate of all those friends

the ones who i think i'll some day reconnect with

the ones who i wonder whatever happened to them

only to find out it's too late?

then remembering the others before

and family

and all that's left is remembering

and that was that.